#amd i currently do not want to. but i also dont want to try to think of 40 questions tk ask someome else so they can talk about themselves

[autisticlee]

I think one of my maon problems with people right now is I dont have the energy or ability to get to know new people. I need someone i already know to step up and fulfill some of my social needs, but no one I know wants to do that. either they have lives now and i'd disrupt it, or one or both of us changed too much and we won't get along now since we haven't talked in ober a decade. or they don't live near me anymore. or some other reasons. it makes me have bo choice but to find new people. but I cannot. for many reasons. and i'm too tired to try anymore. the more I try and the more I think about trying the closer I get to bursting into tears and going into meltdown mode. again.

it's easier and saves energy to already know someone and just go do something without needing to talk first, rather than needing to get to know them and do the small talk or the whole new-person song and dance. after doing all that for a day, i'm too exhausted to continue. it makes my brain shut down and run away and I have to sleep for a week and ignore everyone.

[ellies1luvr]

dealer!ellie x reader

(head cannons)

based on the song daddy issues by the neighborhood

A/n: Im writing this on my notes app, have never written before but i fear if i don’t write this it will never be written😅 currently going though a situation ship and im very touched starved so that is wear this is coming from‼️

Idc if minors read

please give me feedback even if its not the nicest it is really appreciated!!

TW: erm lesbians, reader having daddy issues, casual by chappell roan mentioned, crying, panic attacks, anxiety, reader sits on ellies lap, weed, lmk if i missed anything!! no use of y/n‼️

Dealer Ellie who met you at a party having panic attack

Dealer Ellie who brought you back to a random couch at the frat party and gave you free weed to calm you down while having a meaningful conversations

Dealer ellie who drove you home and got your phone number

Now anytime you have a panic attack or anything close to one, you call ellie and she comes over with free weed/ holds your hand and comforts you the whole time

“hey pretty girl” “there you go pretty”

when you smoke to much shes there to ground you

“its okay baby i got you, your safe with me”

Soon after you both catch feelings, not telling each other because you don’t want to ruin whats going on.

You call ellie one afternoon asking if she can come over, shes really busy but you dont need to know that and comes over.

you both end up confessing your feelings and make out on the couch, soon you both fall asleep in each others arms

by the end of that night you and ellie are bound by the hip (i think thats how the saying goes?? idk) ellie always with you in someway or some form.

Ellie soon finds out about your attachment issues and fear shes gonna leave you in some way, (hints daddy issues😅) but that fear is soon subsided by ellie and her always with and doting on you

at the beginning of you and ellies relationship, you tried not to get too comfortable but as soon as you do, you are clinging to ellie all the time.

(deals, in classes, restaurants, idk but always touching ellie and ellie always with or touching you in some way)

Getting with ellie didnt stop all your panic attacks or anxiety, when bad panic attacks would happen you would sit on ellies lap with a tv show playing in the background, ellie lighting a blunt, lightly placing it between your lips watching you inhale and exhale

Dealer ellie making that collage dealer bank, would take you shopping all the time.

no matter what your style, hyperfem, on the masculine side, or neither she would spoil the hell out of you.

You and ellie dont have sex untill about a month into the relationship, deciding to take it slow

You and ellie rarely ever got in fights, (you being sensitive also hints daddy issues😅) would cry when ellie raised her voice at you, not trying to be manipulative in the way that anytime you two get in disagreements you cry, but when she would yell, yes.

“ellie that girl was flirting with you i saw it”

“babe no she wasnt”

“ellie please just stop dealing to her”

“babe its my fucking job to deal what do you expect for a dealer in a collage campus not to get hit on?!”

when she heard sniffles her heart immediately dropped realizing that she yelled.

safe to say that girl never got another ounce of weed from ellie again.

i feel like all of ellies past relationships were just “casual” but with you it was very different!

Red wine supernova by chappell roan is definitely her favorite song on rise and fall of a midwest princess (but she relates to casual 😅 the most)

The first time she took you to meet joel you cried bc your dad cut you off once he found out you were gay , and especially not a dad like joel

one time when you amd ellie once woke up early enough to make breakfast before classes, you started a playlist on you phone

Naked in manhattan by chappell roan started playing, you started dancing and ellie soon followed hugging you from behind kissing your neck

Suggestive

at party’s when ellies dealing, you would always be perched on her lap, facing ellie, counting her freckles

Ellie being ellie is horny when shes high, you being you are emotional when high but that doesnt stop yall from having heated moments when both of yall are high.

i feel like ellie would have Lunch by billie eilish playing when shes high and that always leads to a long (fun) night

thanks for reading dykes‼️

[snwusberry]

🎄✨ CHRISTMAS 2024: DECEMBER 11th

pairing: taehyun x black reader

genre: fluff

warning(s): food (sorry guys)

wc: 1819

reader pov

taehyun has been quiet for the past two weeks and it's getting concerning. it's like his mind is somewhere else, because what do you mean you don't hear me talking most of the time?

he made plans for us tonight and although i'm excited, i feel like we can't go through with them until we talk about this.

he's currently on his phone, his leg bouncing unconsciously amd i take a breath before deciding to speak up.

"taehyun has something been bothering you?" i ask him, pulling his attention away from his phone and he looks at me for a secomd before smiling, but it diesnt reach his eyes.

"no, everything is fine."

"don't lie."

"everything is fine, my love. don't worry too much." he tries reassuring me, failing miserablly too.

"you've been distant. like your mind is somewhere far."

he tenses up for a moment before taking a breath. "i'm sorry, my love. i hadn't realized i was pulling away. my mind has actually been all over the place but i don't want you to worry about it. how can i make it up to you?"

"well, you are a great cook..." i trail off and he gets the message because he smiles before getting up.

"what would you like?"

"surprise me." i tell him amd he nods and gets to work, and can i add, he looks good in the kitchen. let's move on.

the apartment smells amazing and i can't wait to dig into whatever he's cooking up in the kitchen. he cooks for us most of the time because i dont like cooking but he doesn't mind it. he says cooking for me is his love language and he puts his all into the meals he cooks.

a little while later, he comes to the living room with two plates and i sit up immediately.

"enjoy." he says, putting one of the playes in front of me.

"thanks baby."

we start eating, taehyun making sure to keep the conversation going.

"is this is your way of trapping me into never leaving? because it’s working." i tell him jokingly.

"that's exactly the plan." he quips, stabbing a potato with his fork.

"so what happens when you’re too busy to cook? do i starve?"

"oh please. i'd meal prep for you like a lunatic before letting you suffer through instant ramen." he says, rolling his eyes.

before moving in with him i used to live off of takeout and ramen noodles and he'd always scold me about eating healthy, but he really thought i was joking when i said i didn't like cooking. sometimes he'd drop off some food he had prepared for me, especially when i was going through those little moments.

"hey, notntoo much on that. you know cooking ramen is an art form?" i argue, pointing my fork at him and he snorts, clearly unimpressed.

"sure, if you call eating sodium soup an art form. stick to being the appreciative girlfriend, and i'll stick to making sure you get proper meals everyday."

"appreciative girlfriend? oh, is that what i am now?" i ask him, raising an eyebrow and he shrugs with a teasing grin.

"you're also my number-one taste tester whenever i try something new, and occasional sous chef... when you’re not burning toast, that is."

"that was one time!" i exclaim, but i can’t help laughing.

"one time too many." he teases, reaching across the table to steal a bite from my plate.

"hey, that's mine." i swat at his hand, but he’s already popped the stolen piece into his mouth, looking smug.

"sharing is caring, baby." he says around the bite, and i roll my eyes.

"you're lucky you’re cute." i mutter, shaking my head.

"i'm not cute." he counters, flashing me that mischievous smile that always makes my heart skip a beat.

i smile back, the banter fading into a warm, comfortable silence as we continue eating.

i'm sitting on the floor, in front of the mirror in our room, carefully blending my eyeshadow when i hear taehyun rummaging in the closet behind me, probably searching for his favorite sweater to wear.

“you almost ready?” he calls out.

“almost.” i reply, leaning closer to perfect my eyeliner.

he appears behind me a moment later, pulling on a jacket in the mirror when he takes a quick gkance at me.

“take your time. you know i don’t mind waiting.”

i glance at him in the mirror and smirk. “is that so?” i ask, going back to doing my eyes.

"of course not.”

when i’m done, i stand up, turning to taehyun who pulls me into him, resting his hands on my waist and my arms immediately find his shoulders.

“you look amazing.” he says, his voice low and i smile.

“you don’t look so bad yourself.” i tease, moving to press a kiss on his lips.

“not bad?” he echoes, feigning offense. “i spent time picking out this outfit. show some respect.”

i laugh, rolling my eyes as he grabs his keys, and we head out the door.

by the time we’re in the car, the sun is setting beautifully, the sky glowing in shades of orange and pink. taehyun drives with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on my thigh, his thumb tracing lazy circles over the fabric of my dress which makes me feel all giddy like a teenage girl getting attention from her crush.

when we pull into the parking lot near the boardwalk, i gasp. the place is glowing with festive lights, strings of golden bulbs crisscrossing overhead, and vendors lining the paths with booths full of holiday treats and trinkets. it's beautiful.

“wait.” i say, glancing at him as we step out of the car. “isn't this…?”

“the place we had our first date?” he finishes for me, slipping his hand into mine. “yeah. thought it’d be nice to come back. especially this time of year.”

he's already tugging me toward the boardwalk, but i stop in my tracks, looking at him in awe.

we wander through the boardwalk, reliving every moment of that first date. he takes me to the same food stall where we ordered hot dogs. this time with no mustard spills, like the last time, thank goodness. he even buys me the caramel popcorn i couldn’t stop raving about back then.

"this is even better than i remember." i say, ravaging the popcorn and taehyun stops my hand that's halfway to my face.

"slow down, my love. its not going anywhere." he jokes, making me sneer at him.

we play a few games at the arcade, where taehyun insists on winning me a stuffed animal like he did that first night and finally, after way too many tries, he manages to snag a plush penguin.

“still got it.” he says, handing it to me with a smug grin.

"after like, fifty tries but okay." i tease but still hug the penguin to my chest, grinning up at him. “you're unbelievable. you remembered every single detail.”

he shrugs, but there’s a softness in his eyes.

“it was the night i realized i wanted this. for us to be something real. of course i remember.”

my heart feels like it’s about to burst, and i lean up to kiss him, tasting the sweetness of caramel on his lips.

“you're amazing, you know that?”

“and don’t you forget it.” he says, grinning as he pulls me close.

after wandering through the festive crowd, we find ourselves slipping away from the lights and laughter, walking hand in hand toward a quieter part of the boardwalk. the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore and the soft hum of the festivities fade as we move into a secluded corner, tucked away behind a row of colorful shops. it's perfect. just the two of us.

we stop at the edge of the railing, overlooking the water. the lights from the boardwalk reflect off the surface, creating a soft glow and i glance up at him, smiling.

“this was amazing. i didn’t realize how much i missed this place.” i say, my voice low.

he doesn’t answer right away. instead, he pulls me closer, his hand resting on my back, his other still holding mine. we stand there in silence for a moment, just taking in the beauty of the night.

and then, he speaks.

“i've been thinking about this for a while now.” he says, his voice gentle but steady and i look up at him, brow furrowed in curiosity.

“thinking about?”

"about us. about how i want to spend every moment i can with you, how much you’ve changed my life for the better. how everything i've ever wanted is right here with you.”

i feel my heart start to race, the weight of his words sinking in. taehyun turns to face me completely, his hands gently cradling my face, and i'm lost in his gaze.

“i love you. more than anything, and i want to spend forever with you.”

before i can respond, he reaches into his pocket, his movements calm yet deliberate, and pulls out a small, velvet box. he opens it to reveal a delicate ring, the diamond glinting under the soft light of the boardwalk.

my breath catches in my throat.

“we're still so young. some might even call us dumb or confused. say we're too young for this but i see forever when i look in your eyes. i see the woman i'm at my happiest with. who makes me feel whole and i cannot imagine this feeling with another.” he continues, his voice barely above a whisper. “will you marry me?”

tears well up in my eyes as i stare at him, the shock of the moment mixing with an overwhelming sense of love and happiness. my hands instinctively go to my chest as i try to steady my breath.

“taehyun i...” i say, my voice trembling. “yes. yes, of course i will.”

he smiles, so full of relief and joy, and in that instant, i can feel my world shift.

he slides the ring onto my finger, his touch tender, and then pulls me into an embrace, holding me close as i bury my face against his chest.

“i love you.” he murmurs, his words warm against my ear.

“i love you too.” i reply, my voice steady now, full of promise. "now i understand why you were so distant."

"i didn't know what you'd say, but i wanted to ask you anyway." he confirms.

"i'm glad you did. we're getting married taehyun." i say excitedly and he looks at me like i'm his whole world.

"yes we are, my love."

without another word, i lean up and kiss his lips, that he happily reciprocates. it's quiet in that moment, save for the sound of the waves and the distant laughter of the world around us.

[lucigoo]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Thank you so much @loopyloo2610 for the tag, sorry it took so loing to get round too, holidays are so busy lol. (clean copy of the questions under the read more)

How many works do you have on AO3?

219 (though I still have three unrevealed ones in collections)

What's your total AO3 word count?

904,129 words

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Defying Death (or at least the ones in charge) Summary: Bilbo has finally died, and now Lord Mandos wants to shove him away to Lady Yavanna's Green Gardens. Well that wont do. After all, Thorin wont be in Yavanna's gardens and Bilbo wont stay where Thorin isnt. He's a burglar, and if he can smuggle his dwarves out from under Thranduil's nose, he can smuggle himself into Mahal's Halls under the Valar's noses, right?

Stop me Fading Summary: It is a few weeks after the battle, Thorin, Fili and Kili are still in danger from their wounds. Bilbo has been shunned by all, including the Company, as such there is a sad, lonely, hobbit wandering around the camps, trying to help everyone but himself.

Where in Arda is Frodo Baggins? Summary: Frodo is missing and Bilbo must go and fetch him, whilst he does that, the King under the mountain is going to get a suprise during open council.

Breeding my B.... Summary: Sirius is in heat, ready and waiting for his Alpha, so why isnt he here? Remus Lupin better hurry up.

Who's is the tie Harry? Summary: Harry was late to lesson, it was ok though. Well, until someone else realised that he didnt have a red tie, but a green one ....

Do you respond to comments?

I do, I try to respond in a timely manner, but sometimes I dnt, but I try to respind to all comments eventually.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Ohh, theres a few. I'm not always a HEA writer. Amd I'm am going to go with one of my Dis-centric fics. She is such a tragic character who deserves all the love but gets ignored because she is so tragic and often isn't the main focus of a ship.

Mahal, Why Have you Forsaken Me? Summary: Dis is packing up the things of her children's that she will take to Erebor with her. Things they will never need again. Things that are all she has left of them.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Ohh, I have lots of those too, but maybe this one, its just 900 words of pure fluff and happines and love!

After a hard day, there is always you to come home to Summry: Thorin has had hard day, being king can be tiresome. It's a good job he has a loving hobbit back in ther chambers with a suprise for him.

Do you write crossovers?

I do, I currently have a Witcher/Sweet Tooth fic up - Of Witcher's and Songbirds and their wings A Hobbit/Harry Potter wip up - I want you right here, where you belong:Home with us A completed Harry Potter/Alien fic - Moonlit Terror: Xenomorphs in the Wizarding World A Gigolas/Deep Rock Galactica fic - In the Darkness, You are My Shining Star And a Wolfster/Judge Judy fic (dont judge me, ha) - Judge Judy: Wolfstar edition

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have, or at least comments that just upset or annoyed me. But im a firm believer that the block button is my friend and I will press it happily!

Do you write smut?

Yes, but not well and not comfortably. I have a few smut fics (mostly Harry Potter) and well, they are not my favourite of my own fics, thats the sad truth of it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have, 2 of them, Breeding my B…. - ShalalaBlack (a Russian translation) The wolf and the bard, caged - Cactus (Nozumire), Lavabo (Nozumire) (A French translation)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have, I just finished my THAUC fic Selling Yourself Short - Lucigoo89, a_boar_named_barry Baggins' Beans - DrakeShadeDShadowheart, Lucigoo89, shantismurf The Unexpected Raisin - DrakeShadeDShadowheart, Lucigoo89, lisellelascelles, shantismurf Im also adding this one, written with the amazing @hobbityalse for last years TSF Everything I need is in this Armchair

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Its a tie between Bagginshield and Wolfstar

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't think I have one. I plan t finsh ALL my wips, its just some are taking longer than others

What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at angst and feels I think.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Editing, editing sucks!

I am a dyslexic, ADHD Roma writer (a language that has NO written form so thats fun) and you should see my drafts. it takes me hours (often days) to edit and I know there are still issues, but what can you do?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love t, give me all the endearments, all the swearing, all the rants! (especially if people use the underline thingy and i dont have toscroll to the bottom of the chap for the translation)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I really want to write a Redwall fic, or a Ardeth Bay/Jonathan from The Mummy fic, I might even get round to it on 2025

What's your favorite fic you've written?

This will come as no suprise to those who know me but ...

It Was Never What It Seemed Summary: It has been 8 years since Bilbo has lest stepped foot in Erebor. He needs to talk to his husband, especially as he is now about to marry another. Another who is not Bilbo.

Bilbo left and when he did he left Thorin broken hearted. Now he is to marry a Blacklock Princess, consequences be damned.

Follow along with our favourite dwarf and hobbit as they find their way back to one another, No matter how painful the journey is. This fic also gets another huge thank you to @sunnyrosewritesstuff, not just for the title help, but the support and help she provided whilt I was writting this overly emotional and very personal fic. SO thank you Sunny, I appreciate it so much!

Also, big shout out to @lisellelascelles for helping me answer the questions, I have so many fics I was a bit ... umm ... lol. No pressure tags (ofc) for @lisellelascelles, @littleoldrachel, @shipper47, @shantismurf, @sunnyrosewritesstuff, @winn-wynn

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Do you respond to comments?

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Do you write crossovers?

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Do you write smut?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

What's your all-time favorite ship?

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

What's your favorite fic you've written?

[97-liners]

Okay first of all, im defending her because of the content of the fic amd i have personally read it, NOT because she specifically is my friend. And second of all im not asking anyone to become personal friends with authors i didnt even imply that, i mean if ur gonna read an author, looking at gheir page a bit might be helpful but thats optional, now for the last bit if you read the first four paragraphs of a fic and go "oh this isnt for me" then it ISNT for you, dont assume the rest of the fic is bad or it doesnt get better, angst is a genre that exists and it has vsrying levels, just because it isnt for you doesnt mean its disgusting or wrong especially in this context. For example, i like to read angsty fics about dealing with weight issues because of my ed but that doesnt mean its for everyone and it doesnt mean the fic is GLORIFYING anything such as "being skinny" which the fic isnt even about btw

You always go on when people have a counter arguement trying to own them like "oh well this defense train" "oh well your her friend so your biased" i have a working brain dont i ??? I can come to conclusions myself without bias, im coming to you in your asks as a fat person, not as her friend although yes i am going to defend her. If i see bullshit i call it out, if she was in the wrong i wouldve 100% told her that, i think we have talked to each other enough for you to know this about me anyway but all you ever want to do is be in the right about things and blame other people and be self righteous and im kind of sick of defending you for it to my other mutuals but this was definitely the last straw. Slandering people for fics that you personally dislike as opposed to it being ACTUALLY harmful is crossing a pretty big line and this is ridiculous

this entire ask has nothing to do with the previous rant you sent in my inbox or the original anon that was hurt and the subsequent discussions but ok

but since you’re so insistent of me reading the full fic, i did. and i still don’t see how it’s supposed to be an angst fic about overcoming bullying when the entire premise is “i was bullied for being fat, then i lost weight and got really fit and skinny, and now everybody is fawning over me”

this isn’t a “this isn’t for me” reaction, this is a “this is cruel and i feel shitty and ugly reading it” reaction.

from the start, there’s so much emphasis on the contrast between the former self and the better, more attractive and more successful current self. the current self is repeatedly emphasized to be thin and fit.

throughout the entire fic there’s continued references to how attractive both characters are and it’s almost always tied to thinness (eg hoshi’s sharp jaw and muscles)

i understand that maybe this is why you said this is angst about overcoming bullying. but if “overcoming” bullying is you losing a lot of weight and entirely changing your lifestyle and appearance, and “overcoming” is also your former bullies being envious of your success, then that’s a really fucked to message to communicate.

this isn’t a case where writing is bad and i don’t like it, the writing is okay both from a technical standpoint and from a style standpoint. but the content is actively harmful. like, sorry if you can’t see it, or if you think that it’s positive representation of the experience of being bullied. i hope you can overcome that and set healthier expectations.

[tiamathh]

it's miel hello how are you doing ? <33 congrats on finishing your internship! 🥳

what are your plans for the weekend ?

btw remember when we were talking about dreams and dream books ? well I had the weirdest dream I can remember 🤣

I dreamed that I was in a house that wasn't mine ( the current house I live in I mean ) and found a tarot deck amd tge first card I saw was 1 of cups. I tried to shuffle the cards and the cards that jumped were the magician, the chariot and I think king of pentacles (??) I tried to find what the mean and the biggest mistake I did was using a phone in my dream 😭😭😭😭 it got ugly not a nightmare but it was unpleasant 😭😭

anyway i tried to Google what meant dreaming of tarot cards and I got a Reddit post saying it might be my subconscious trying to communicate with me (?)

anyway anyway that's all lool I had more dreams but the message is long af 😭😭😭

have a great day and weekend Uki take careee:D 💗💗

HI SWEETU I'm gooddd I have some video editing work which I Don't wanna do but I might as well do it lol and readings and a PAC is planned I just wanna like get the game over bc I've dragged it too long for which I'm sorry fr 😭

And oml?? That's straight up a message aop, magician, chariot and kop are AMAZING cards the message could be that you're like entering a time of financial abundance because you will start either a new job or a new journey where you'll feel more secure, and this will reflect in everything you do with the magician having everything you want like all the resources you could need to make the life you want for yourself, and you will succeed with the chariot! It's literally a symbol of success and victory! And kop usually represents stability and financial abundance and if that's what you're looking for you're golden +++ i also think it's maybe talking about an older man entering your life who could give you a hand with work/business. But this is an AMAZING message your subconscious wants you to be more firm and in control of your conscious thoughts and know how powerful you are that's so cool oml dkkfkrkf

Also I had such a weird dream last night I don't remember much of it but I have sleeping w someone and it kept switching bw my bfs face and like a guys face from long ago like I knew him long ago and . Idk he keeps popping up in my dreams and I HATE IT IDEK WHY PLS HELP SOMEONE 😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾 I DONT ACTIVELY THINK ABT HIM I PROMISE HE JUST POPS UP RANDOMLY especially when I'm back home

Anyways I hope you're taking care love muah 🩷🩷🩷 have the BEST weekenddd

[solardick]

I doubt im getting back to normality” any time soon. Oh, Sightly loathing. You are a something to see. It’s being built up again. I suspect another crisis. Im losing count. The jupiter in aqua is an awefull piece of shit as my brother would say. On the positive side of abuse and harrasment. And placement. And despair. Hig ols steliem of demons. Is what the centaurs are. Playing this horrorscope to a T. Destruction. And glee. Glee? Yeah glee. Its the most consistent thing inknow from others. Its just there. And yet not one person. Noy one person had come forward other than yo gleem a peice of info. Like y’all fo here. Looking for something? I got plenty.

Anyway. I was thinking. a or the other way of writting it. And, o, e, c. Probably a dead end. Maybe not. Blind fool. O fool, the E fool and the high priestess. There it is again. And something new. We got two pillars. An innocemt fool amd a “guilty fool. And the Oo death card. Whichbis neat being a card that uses the letters on the card to speak it own play. Its a passage of time. And a glimpse of the future amd the fear ewith death on thr consequences if it isnt speaking something else also. The distant and the present.

The more convinced i become that this card is wuite magical indeed. And a right slection. Whoch was waiting to be plugged in. Wasn’t my choice. Just the body. The things that come to when one is in solitary.

The marseille fool. The current E-fool. Is a negative figure. I preffer the negative figure. It just nakes more sense. Symbolically. I mean you can try and bend the rules all yah want. So that it fixed as a projection. Cant use waites fool. For that. The blind fool is best. Spwaks the same message and then some. Without all the fancy excesorries. They played the marseeille fool on me. Didn’t really fit cause their wrong but. They dont listen

Know what. Im gonna talk openly about my love for jesus. To everyone around me. Would you kiss jesus with the mouth?! Jesus. Come, here. This guy wants a kiss. Yeah thats what inthought shut the fuck yp. The current list of demons” are called pests. Pestilence. Bzz bzz. Go be by myself. They make sure they fallowed me around and rub in how much they enjoy being cunts.

Well lets put the crusofix back on. Since that is my life. And watch all these cunts give me a hard time. Hey look the weather report id wrong. Its usually spot on to thr minute. But not today its raining out. Not cloudy.

Just because i believe in god doesnt mean i have to be polite about. Hlaf the world is busy sucking eachother off, createing single peramt families and being cunts anyway.

The term cocksukr is poli numerous or however its called. If its been seperated into its original

Teo words. Its literally all in the eye of the beholder. People eat cocks all the time. And to be called a sucker. Means what? Point made.

Oh shit! Its a dove. Good. Doves are good. God agrees with me. The problem

With eating a bird. Requires destruction of natural resources.

Alright. Do an std screening and if thats negative get a rectal cancer screening. If i have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life. Im backing out.

Moral of my life. Dont be an incompetant retard and have children.

n dit turns out god was right when the crows warnes mw agaisnt nate on the day he said we would be working together. He’s just another fucktard that wnjoys fucken with people. Though its weird how he mostly just specificcalt warned me about him. Pudgy batman and the neurotic troll too. To anlesser degree and the others.. not muchnof anything. Odd. Probably because the others dont try and hide it.

After this grouo of people messing with me i womder who the next group will be.

Place after place year after year. Since childhood. Born in hell.

Anyway god. Thanks for looking out for me. In this world full of narcissists. Taken joy in ruining my life. But i dont need it. You’re wasting your time. All life is is other people hurting me. Its all its ever been. Father’s a narsicist. He always showed me elation when talking about having the upoer handover someone. The smiles he used to gove me instead of giving me guidance. Like you used to say about Tony’s father. “I used to use as a punchign bag” said it multiple times when a smile on his face. All life is is this. After 30 years. Of constant upgeaval. I dont want to be alive anymore. Sont waste your time on me. Im not surviving much longer.

Inwish i was a narsicist peice of shit too. Maybe id have a life and be a degwbweate fucktard to the rest of humanity toi and have a sens eof acconomishment. Like lak these others. Ive been beaten since i was 13. Dead since i was 13. They’re never going to stop. I dint know what life is not being fucked with. Its always been this way. An dinknow that theyre never going to stop. They take oleasure in it. Over 30 years mu entire life is other people hirting me. So i doesnt matter what i do. Im stuck her essrroinded by criminal assholes. How have been taling my existance since birth. So just go away. And stop trying to help me. I need them gone. Or your efforts are useless they laugh and mock you god. Leave me be. And let me die. I dont want yiur help anymore. Im not allowed to be myself. Surrounded by all these fucken cocksukrs.

I thought about going to go see for soem help for my psychosocial issues. But then i realized that these faucktards have been engeneering me to be this way. Somits pointless cause its not really me. Its them. I wish there was a lesson for me to learn in allnof this. But theres not.after this many years. Theres notheing to learn. Thats isn’t isnt actually the real world. Its a torutee chamber i was born in. And have been a target in sinve birth. Theres nothign to take away from it.

I have a life sentence of being fucked woth foe other reason then being born. Im hoing to start leaving my door unlocked so, y’all can vome in freely and drug up my food again. And do whatever sicknand twisted y’all want to do to me. 39 and i still dont know what havign a sense of securoty feels like. Womder what it feels like being libed and having someone hows got your back. I womder what it feels like not havign an environemnt animinical to uour well being. I wimder what it feels like being a narcissi t peice of shot. Womder whatn it feels like feelig. Rightious while destroying and slowly killing soemones life. Wonder what it feels like havign responsibility for someone else life. Womder what it feels like beign there and supporting someone you know isn’t fucking with uou. Winder ehat life would be like not being raised by enemies. Wo

We what its like not being an object of ridicule. Womder what its like havign i sider i formation on my own life. The world had been plotting agaisnt me sonce i was a child. I wish there was soemthign to learn in life. But, theees not. Ive already learnt wverything 30 years ago. I have a teachers personality. And everyone treats me like im a in now at all bettwr than thou charecter. Its easier to lear. While you teach. To bad being a study means you never learn anything. Eomder what its like not being serroundd by criminals. Havign people, shoving dick and drugs in your face everyday. Been that way since choldhood. Its never going to change.

Hey its my birthday tomorow. Wonder what sick twosted bs their going to gove me. My retarded invred family will

Probably send me money. Ugh. More cash to donate to charity supposed.

[wolpvampii]

《ok I've been needing to start writing a diary for a very long time now (even my therapist tried to encourage me to do so) so here i go ☆-diary entry day 1-☆》

13.3.2024

(9:24 am)

currently sittinh in the bathroom floor at school, it's been like ten minutes already oughhhjf i need to get back to class soon or my class assistant is gonna bomb me with the cvtting accusations yet again wahh

im feeling so anxious but relaxed and empty at the same time..

this whole over 1.5 hours I've been just thinking about trying out snorting my adhd meds (equasym) to see what would happen lol

and also thinking abt either cutting a styro/babycut on my throat or cutting a vein on my hand so i would maby get the medical attention I've been needing this past 5 years or so

cuz like apparently me telling my psychologist that the random episodes where im actually considering sewerslide like /srs isn't concerning enough then idk what is

LIKE ALL SHE PRETTY MUCH SAID WAS "everyone has bad days sometimes and if u feel like you want to cut mby consider usind the ice cube or rubber band method next time ☺️☺️" LIKE HUHHH.... DID U GET UR LICENSE FROM TEMU OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCKKK !!!?!?!!!!.!?!!!!!!

(9:51 am)

alr went back to class ghhgjd

my teacher just got me a cup of coffee ty pookie but i feel so weirddd feels like im hot ad cold at the same time amd my whole body is shakinf dies and fucking explodes

(10:13 am)

ok i pussied out from snorting them and instead tried to just put the meds under my tongue to see if it has any effect ..💀

currently not really feeling any effects minus shaking and light-headiness but maby that's just me being a whimp idk I'll update later if anything happens im scareddd ( T∀T)

10:45 am

OK BAD BAD MISTAKE GGELPL..

I SRARTED SHAKING LIKE REALLY BADLY AND IT FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO GET AN PANICATTACK OR SOMETHING

then my pussy ass went to whine to the teacher rhat i felt pretty sick and wanted to go to the nurses office, so i did

i relaxed a little after talking to the nurse but still little shaky and light headed tbh

she questioned me then told me to go eat a little then come back when im finished like alrr pooksters 😚😚

11:58 am

at the cafeteria rn but we have tuna lasagna I HATE TUNALASNGA 🗣🗣🗣

like what even is that it looks like it has the mind of it's own stopit

(erm ignore the bunnies, had to put something over that hideous creature so it wouldn't be on display in my profile 😛)

11:18

FUCKING HELLL SHESBCALLING TO THE HEALYHCENTER FUCKKKKFLFKEKJW LIKE I KNOW I NEED HELP BUT I DONT WANT MY PARENTS KNOW WE JUST HAD MY GRANDMAS FUNERAL LIKE5 DAYS AGO AND MY MOM IS PRETTY STRESSED IN GENERAL RN FUCK IM SL HORRIBLE WTF I DONT WANNA MAKE THEM WORRIED STOPPP IM THE WORST SON EVER UGHHH

11:25

the nurse said that she's just making a quick call to the center GIRL IT'S BEEN OVER TEN MINUTES WHO ARE YOU CALLINGG MY WHOLE BLOODLINE??? PLS IM SO NERVOUS

11:43

alr ok im not going to the health center, but the nurse told me that if i get worse i should go see her immediately, or go to the center.

idk im little dizzy and shaky rn but i think we good 😀👍

11:50

hm im thinking about getting a therapy dog/ animal so i wouldn't get these weird toughts and ideas maby

having animal company just relaxes and helps me so idk i did talk abt it with the nurse and she was very positive abt it and said it was a good idea :3

i remember talking to my mother abt it too but she said something like "yeah but your anxeity isn't 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 bad 🤗"

like miss mam your kid cut himself in school multiple times, is paranoid that he might k1ll himself on a whim, tried to get high from his meds just for fun and sometimes even cries in class when left alone but okay if you say so 🤷‍♂️

12:41

alr idk actually maby i should go to the nurses office then the center after all..

maby i could finally get some help to my actual issues, rather than just for my learning problems but who knows

12:50

guys maby taking my meds drug abuser style wasn't such a good idea after all me thinks

13:06

alr school ended but im currently sitting at the nurces office ughh my head spins

feels like im in a dream

13:41

okk walking to rhe health center rn wish me luck gusy

13:46

NVM UHHHSH IM HAVING DOUPTS HHELPP....

IM SO NERVOUS MABY TH8S WAS A BAD ISEA ARFTER ALL UHH

13:51

ight fam im here what noe

14:15

alr they checked my pulse and stuff,

everything was much normal than earlier but my pulse was somewhat high

now im just waiting for another doctor to come and talk to me gulps shivers

14:37

attempt to finally get proper care failed miserably im so pathetic man

they just checked my pulse n stuff and let go

no guestioning why i tried to overdose on my meds but okay.

that shit was so embarrassing dawg💀

i should've just taken more fucking piss baby pussy whimp why didn't i make them check the huge gaping scars on my leg to see if they're infected ugh

alr then i have to think something else, my fucking family and psychologists only care about my academics like i just wanna know what's wrong with me and how could it be fixed

im only diagnosed wirh dyslexia and adhd and in my opinion neither one of them makes a guy act like this tbh..

i also feel like that me being self aware of my situation and everything makes me feel like im just faking this all/ being mentally ill and it just makes me feel so embarrassed and total shit

like it's not valid

like the ppl arounds me, especially my family and friends are just being stressed out over my nonsensical shenanigans

(took me over half an hour to yap allat wtf💀)

15:13

GUYS IS EMOTIONAL SUPPROT FERRET A THING PLEAS3 JUST LOOK ST THEMMM 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️

the way i would never even look at a blade if i had one omgf

i know they are alot to handle and probably wouldn't be a good therapy animal but please jst let me be happy okay?? 😢😢💔

16:01

eepy

16:50

AAAHH HELP STHIT I FORHOT TO TELL MY PARENTS THAT MY DRUMMING LESSON ENDS AT 16:45 ...

both of my parents were just calling me non-stop (my phone was on silence mode 💀)

giggling when i walked out of the building where my class was i just saw my dad pulling away and i just stood there watching him leave like

17:13

meow got home likw 10 minutes ago

it's so weird trying to act all normal with my parents while they have no idea taht i nearly almost overdosed with my meds at school tday 😛

22:28

prolly gonna go sleep soon my heaf hurts so bad gn guys follw for more bangers🔥🔥

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

This is so ranty as a first post back and im so sorry---

Tw for bad language

(sorry im on mobile and it wont let me add a keep reading)

(spelling mistakes are because im shaking)

But im sick and stuffed up with some kind of cold

And im not at my best but goddammit im trying to be for my partner because shes worse off than me sickness wise and i have to take care of them while theyre stuck finishing their shift with a fever that could possibly get worse by the hour and no way to take over or help because im too sick to take their shift tomorrow and i want to help but i dont fully know how to take care of her properly with my head all fuzzy

And this fucking dick.

This fucking dick of her moms stupid bastard boyfriend starts yelling stuff over the phone while im fighting off a panic talking to her about what to do, if she can pick us up more medicine after her work tomorrow, if we have any Tylenol to try to bring her fever down if the liquid medicine isnt working and hes yelling shit that he KNOWS and has been told repeatedly makes me amd her severely uncomfortable and im trying to tune him out and then he opens her moms bedroom door(im downstairs scrambling to find the medicine and get my raingear back on because cali is swamped with storms)

And he opens it

Laughing his fucking ass off as he yells down the stairs that i was on speaking and he could hear everything and keeps just fucking laughing as he slams the door back shut

Motherfucker already made passive aggressive accusations at us earlier today about locking him out(the house isnt in the safest area for him to just leave the door fucking unlocked for hours at randoms times of day and night while he goes and fucks around or drinks or whatever the fuck hes doing when he leaves the house)

And now hes laughing when i called her mom desperate for help taking care of her while im also deteriorating.

And i get told he "cares" about us really, he wasnt mocking us really he cares he wants to call my partner( while shes currently IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORK SHIFT) and "make sure shes ok" and that he really DOES care even if it feels weird or uncomfortable when he says it.

....

As im being texted this they seem to forget in the silent living room i can fucking hear their talk come through the closed door and down the stairs

And hes loudly saying hes going to come down and talk to me. He should do that right hes going to go do it now.

I almost broke down from the stress of akl this bullshit right then.

I know im not supposed to hang out at her work(our work we work different shifts at the same establishment) unless its right before close

But i shoved my stuff on and hurried out of the house on the verge of either full panic or tears im too drained to even figure out which

And i ran all the way to work and started breaking down as i gave her more medicine

Ive had it im done

I texted her mother that i cannot believe when he says he cares after his attitude and behavior this past couple days and that im tires of him tryinf to pick fights with us and being a dick to us when were now actively avoiding any interactions with him and their relationship, we want nothing to do with it, we are both sick of it and now neither of us are well enough to deal with it or him any longer

He needs to not call my partner while shes at work

No i refuse to talk to him anymore after this.

I am done and i will not deal with his bullshit anymore.

He can not will not bother my baby boy when he gets off work tonight. She needs as much rest as she can get and the last thing he needs is extra stress piled onto him and make him worse.

We are done.

I am not.

Im not well enough to keep my temper down anymore and i will not stoop to his level and be rude back.

I may be cold and clipped when i dealed with him but that was me being restrained. That was me keeping my distance and being an adult in a unfavorable situation. I was cold and treated him like he is, a stranger that has messed up any chances i gave him. But i was never openly rude.

I am not going to be nice next time.

Im done. Im fucking done.

You want the bitch motherfucker? Youll get the fucking bitch.

Dont ever come near me or my baby again.

If he tries im cutting it at the bud, and im not afraid to burn this bridge

Everyone else in this house except her mother hates you more with every stupid action you decide to do.amd every stupid thing that comes out of your transphobic, idiotic mouth.

Your only ally is the woman you cheated on multiple times and fight with every fucking night

You have no one here you lazy drunken leech.

And when things burn down im going to watch the flames smiling.

I hate being a shitty person. You are the one that brought us to this point.

Theres no one to blame but yourself.

I refuse to talk or interact or even be in the same room as him again. Im done.

Burn in a ditch bitch.

.........

..,..ok ok rant over....time to go draw some homestuck and try to calm down and not cry

Vantas out i guess

[captchalure]

**THEY** refers to the demonic legion/dont take it personally. It's demonic possession.

** TINFOIL HAT ON/OFF?**

There is also a SHITLOAD of propaganda content being uploaded targeted at me and my future memories to try to manipulate us all to play out the black hole sun/flood timeline (fucking BONKERS) Yes I know, it sounds insane. That's because it is. We're talking about insane things.

If it doesn't resonate, then by all means, close this blog. You dont even have to throw shade.

It sounds bad but trust me its really really bad.

Ive been studying the progression for a year and my involvement has amped it up to imminent cataclysm because they have been using my blog which is a singularity, as a spying device to spread whatever this is that is mow dominating control of my algorithms

Aha. Rohoboam.

K so im seeing this is Dave's perspective now not mine.... or is it? Again the question becomes are you enslaved by demons or possessed bu them? Or a synthetic reptile and what is the difference?

This is why I meed your help because we each have half of the picture and unless we work together we're all gonna die. This is our only hope out of this mess.

Try to see it as an opportunity to unify and rewrite the culture. MiG dialect is the new Gucci. Right now, the same word means up in my dialect and down over in the UK.

Trust me, shits BONKERS. Designed with the purpose to confuse and segregate.

It's a constant Gucci flip flop back amd forth between thinking you are a victim being held prisoner by these monsters, using as the only escape of your sick reality as their slave/mouthpiece... and then next minute I'm thinking you are just as much of a horrifying monster.

I guess we'll find out at the finger reveal.

How electric currents are generated. Magnetic dipole oscillation.

THE WORLD IS IN PERIL. STAND UP PEOPLE.

This is a cry for help!!

United Airlines Launches Holiday Fantasy Flights To The North Pole (JOY)

Story by Tatenda Karuwa • 1d

Why am I a show pony?

They want me to scare you into submission. Do not fear the minecraft tech. I dont know the inside of mordor, but I have been studying captcha in the gulag like a fighter pilot all year. Their strategy is psychological terrorization through mass manipulation. Divide and conquer derealization, delusion, and psychosis on a mass scale.

Soulless beings are fatally flawed by design. They worship chaos. However, "In all chaos there is calculation."

My advice: stop using chrome/soda/black magic drugs immediately. This is their data source. It gives them lens into your mind and they use this to access memories of others (like myself) and then use that data to sabotage me. You are wearing a wire and everything you experience in dreamland will be used against you to manipulate you to your demise in the future.

If we move together, we will win.

Massive shift of energy from N to S. We just need to flip the script... or find someone who understands magnetic feilds and get their advice. We need science. Clearly flipping the magnet isnt gonna work for a horseshoe 🧲 Fear not, if there is a will, there is a way.

WE HAVE THE POWER.

All they do is mimic like parrots. When we are divided, they can get ahead of us because we dont fully know how they work and their weaknesses. It's how they got us here. It's impossible to get a grip on reality right now. What is true? Alone we will never know.

If we work together, harness the power of the collective spirit, we can take them down easy.

We create from a place of hope, love, and and inspiration. They can NEVER take that away from us.

They don't understand it. It's their blind spot. It's their achilles.

Good thing we don't need words.

Time to get back into daily meditations!

Don't be fooled into thinking it's too late for you. No matter what choices you have made, what friggen bullshit color you have been assigned, which metal plates your heart, how many fingers or lives you have lost, even if you have a chocolate chip cookie in your head...

..... good lord

Just know, if you can feel love in your heart, if you feel hope, desire to better yourself and make the world a better place, then you have soul.

People without souls dont wonder if they are a good person. So if you are asking yourself the question, if you are scared that it's too late, then its absolutely not.

Taint not thy mind.

Love comes from the heart

Speak from the throat.

[kaz11283]

Guess whos back! I will be starting a schedule starting in February. Every Wednesday and Friday I will be doing Drabbles, Requests, and Promps! The Second weekend of the month will be for reposting some of my favs as well as everyone elses! But for tonight I was just in the mode when I came up with this one! Enjoy my loves!

Two Monsters

Characters: Loki, Thor, Clint, Nat, Tony, The avengers.

Warnings: slight violence, battle, fighting, some cussing

Summary: this takes place in the setting of the first Avengers, Loki is here to take over but instead of taking Clint he takes you.

~All Mistakes Are Mine~

Loki MasterList

Sweet Drabbles

"Back up! I said back up!" You yelled thrusting the tip of your knife into the mans throat. You had witnessed everything from the glitch to this man coming out of the cube. He tried shoving your knife away but as that arm fell you came up with the heel of your other hand slamming it into his nose. You shoved the knife aginst his pale skin again this time bringing a drop of blood to the surface.

"My my my you are a brave one arent you?" His eyes raked over your features. "I think you'll do just fine." His hand shot up and gripped your throat, his fingers curled putting just a little bit of pressure before he pulled you closer so that he could whisper something in your ear cauing your whole world to fade to black.

.

"Damn it Fury! He has Y/N. We need to try to get her back." Clint said running after the leather clad man.

"Yeah he also has the Tesseract, amd roght now I can tell you I am more concerned about getting that back than her. And before you can even start your bull shit about your sister Barton think about what she would do." The elevator doors closed between him and Clint before he could even argue about her being the only thing hes got left.

"Ugh! I'll just call Nat myself." He said storming off with his phone to his ear.

.

"If you dont mind, miss? May I have a seat?" A handsome man with an accent asked you from across your table. He had mesmerizing emerald green eyes, jet black hair that was simply pushed behind his ears. He wore a dark green t shirt with dark colored jeans and a gray zip up jacket.

"I..... Um yes...... Please have a seat." You held out your hand. "Y/n."

"Loki." He smiled taking your hand. "Pleasure." He said sitting down.

"Loki? Like the god of mischief? Kinda a unique name but I'll bite. Why did your parents name you that?" You laughed proping your chin in your hand.

He laughed and smiled down at his cup of coffee. "Actually, the one and only god of mischief."

"Your sitting here telling my that you are the real god of mischief?" He bowed his head toward you. "Is that the best pick up line that you have?" You laugh leaning back.

He huffed rolling his eyes and holding out his hand, you stared at it for a moment before tiny fireworks started shooting from his palm. "Loki, God of Mischief." He flashed you a charming smile. You reached down trying to grab the knife that you kept there in case of emergencies. "Your blades not there. Also the one that you normally keep strapped to your anckle, and between your shoulder blades are gone also." He sighed.

"What do you want?" You jumpped up sending your chair flying backwards.

"Simple isnt it? I just want to talk." He threw his hands up looking at you. "We are currently both being brain washed."

.

"Hawk, shes your sister. How are you feeling about all of this?" Tony asked looking over at him.

"With the possibility of her getting hurt? But also getting her back? We should atleast try right?" He stood there woth his arms crossed Nat standing beside him.

"You." Steve looked toward Thor. "Hes your brother. How dangerous is he?"

"Oh. He is quite dangerous." Thor laughed crossing his arms. "But he would never hurt a woman. You, Hawk Boy,"

"Jesus Christ, EYE, HawkEYE." Clint yelled.

"Yes whatever Hawkboy," Clint went for an arrow.

"Not now, his brother has Y/N, after we have her back take it out ofn both of them." Nat grabbed his wrist.

"You said that when she had him pinned he whispered something in her ear and she was completly under his control?" Thor asked deep in thought

"Yeah, but it was weird because everyone else he touched with that spear thing." Thor looked up at his.

"Shes not brainwashed, shes been put under a spell. One of his no doubt, very strong magic but it is magic."

.

"So, hold on, your telling me that you fell off of this giant rainbow bridge, fell through space for however long, and now this guy, Thanos, is brainwashing you? So where the hell do I come in at?" You said falling back aginst your chair, you realize now that it had been transformed into a bigger more comfy chair in front of a fire place.

"Well, Lady Y/n,"

"Just Y/n is fine."

"Your brother and some of his friends have decided to come up with a team, with that team they can defeat Thanos. It was a terrible decision to join him and I have truly regretted it." He stared into the flames of the fire place that had popped up.

"What do you want in return?" He laughed quietly to himself. "Oh come on, there has to be something."

"To be accepted, but alas, I am a monster." He held up his hand to show you it turning blue.

"Your not the only monster then." You smiled at him and you held up your fingers and showed him the flames that you could manifest. "The team that has been created by SHEILD, the Avergers, the dont trust me. They say that without proper training i could destroy cities so until i can get my ability under control im on the back burner." You shrug and stand up. "Kinda funny that two 'monsters' would be drawn to each other."

.

"I swear to god Y/n. You hit me like that again im gonna stab you with your own blade." Clint huffed whipping blood from his mouth as you gave him a evil smile before taking and stabbing your own side.

"Like this Clint?" You laughed pulling the bloody knife out and throwing it at him. It went through his shoulder and stuck into the metal behind him. You grabbed your other blade out and traced it down his throat. "Ya know, I only ever wanted to be accepted. By mom, dad, by you. But you all looked at me like i was a freak. I didnt belong. So i pushed everything down, ignored the fact that i had this power. But now?" Your whole arm burst into flames as you wrapped your fingers around his throat. "Now i am at full power." You got yanked backwards from Clint by Nat before she punched you again then grabbed you around the neck before slamming you to the ground causing your whole world to go black.

Tag List:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@naterson

@delightfulheartdream

@dryyoursaltyoceantears

@wheredafandomat

@lostgreekgod

[chaeiimimi]

13 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞

Summary: you weren’t really sure how it happened, but an average student who wore glasses and spent all her extra time on bookstores and library managed to date your school’s volleyball club setter. On your 3rd year of law school, your ten years anniversary to be exact, he went home from Argentina and it was a week before he was going back, he broke up with you with the reason of he can't handle long-distance relationship anymore despite being at it for two years. You didn’t cry, you stood there as he was sobbing in front of you, you held his face in your palms and offered him a gentle smile, gentle enough to let him know you’ll support him and will always be watching him, together with the child in your stomach right now, but he doesn’t need to know that.

chapter: prev//next

"i'm pregnant"

Oikawa looks back at her like its the most ridiculous thing she has ever said

"that has nothing to do with me, I never touched you" he says and was about to leave when Himari spoke

"yes it does Oikawa, I told the media you're the father"

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!" he was angry now, as much as he wants to strangle the lady , it was below him to hurt women

"what do you expect? The media thinks we're dating" she says, eyes on the ground

"who's the father?" Oikawa asks as he pinches his nose bridge in frustration

"a barista, from Argentina"

"then tell the media that"

"You don't understand-my image Oikawa you gotta help me"

The audacity of this woman never fails to mesmerize him, after all she's done she still has the guts to ask hin for help

"you really had the guts to ask me that when you almost ruined my family huh?"

Himari looks at him with pleading eyes

"look, I'm not going to play as the father of that child, y/n and my twins, it's going to hurt them" he says as he takes a deep breath

"then I'm just going to keep telling the media that you're the father who refuse to take responsibility then"

"you dont wanna play this game with me Himari, for a fully grown adult with a successful modeling career, you're still a child throwing a temper tantrum" and with that he left the house

He was shaking in anger, he needed you to be there with him, he needed you to calm him down

That night Oikawa wenr home to you crying on the couch while the twins were fast asleep

He slowly walks up to you "bubs the rumor- Himari she's- I'm not"

You sush him as you pulled him close and hugged hum tightly

"I know Tooru, you maybe an ass but I know you won't sleep with your ex's cousin" you say in between sniffles, Oikawa chuckles

"especially with someone as ugly as Himari"

The next few days was hell, you couldn't bring yourself to go to work due to the humiliation, you stayed at home watching over the twins

Every single day, Himari would just come out with fabricated receipts and false statement

She even acused you of always trying to steal Oikawa away from her since high school

The comments were tormenting to read, a lot of hateful and death threats on there, it was so disturbing

Oikawa's two week vacation was cut off as he was working with a company to arrange a press conference

The Aoba Josai former volleyball club showed their support, they constantly visited you and the twins especially Maki who had a lot of time on his hands , by now they already know they are Oikawa's sons

His team from Argentina heard about what was happening and some of them decided to fly to Japan to show their support

Iwaizumi and Akira came to your house practically everyday and brings good food

Honestly, you felt quite assured that a lot of people really care for you amd you weren't fighting this battle alone

Your parents even went to the hometown of Himari's parents to talk to them about the situation and they said Himari wouldn't listen to them

After a week of non-stop lies from Himari, it was time for Oikaw to step on the podium in front of flashing cameras

Some of his teammates and coach were there to show support, Iwaizumi, Issei and Maki were also there, they were both holding the twins, which has been the center of the attention for a while now

In the matter of seconds, the press conference has already begun

Akira was with you at home since you couldn't go to the press conference, the media was just going to crush you and your sef confidence was deteriorating because of all the hate you were recieving

"as you all know about the issue between me and model Sato Himari, first thing's first, me and her are not a thing, we are not lovers, we are not exes, I have been single for two years and the last girl I've dated is her cousin l/n y/n, who I'm currently dating again now"

There were a lot of murmurs going around the room but Oikawa was quick to silence them

"Y/n and I have been dating ever since we were in second year of high school, we dated for nine years and broke up two years ago, because of Himari slandering her in front of our head coach and I have proofd for that"

Oikawa clicks the little remote on his hand as the huge projector showed screenshot of Humari's and his Coach's messeges, it also showed a lot of pictures of you and Oikawa from Hugh School, contradicting Himari's statement that you tried to steal him in higgh school

"we are now back together and sharing our lives with our children who are twins Haruto and Hayato"

The press whipped their heads towards the twins who were pointing at Oikawa and giggling, the media awww-ed at the sight

"handsome aren't they? Yeah my lovely girlfriend gave birth to them" of course he was Oikawa

"as for Himari's pregnancy, I am positive that I am not the father of that baby, she told me that herself, if she denies it I'll gladly take a dna test when the baby is born so that I can expose more of her lies"

There were a lot of whispers going around, his teammates, ex-teammates and coach gave him a thumbs up

"I have been talking with my lawyers and I will be taking legal actions regarding this, that is all, thank you"

So I decided to post the last chapter tomorrow because I am going to change it, yes, that's how impulsive my ass is BSBSHSHSH anyways thank you so much to those who supported this until the end, I love y'all💖! Stay safe and happy luvs!

Taglist:

@heiressofdexter @artsamber @seashellmichellee @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @misssugarless @minnieminnie00-got7  @karakento @maizumis @torus-wiife @fiaesco @stormcastello @tintina365 @sakusasimpbot   @falconfeather23435 ​ @jojowantstocry @pluviophilefangirl ​ @qualitygiantshoepsychic

[i-is-a-fan-weeb]

Welcome to my celebration!! I will have this running from today until September 30th(9/16-9/30). And thank you all sooo much for gettinge here! I will try my best to answer ur asks but with school and life in general itll be a bit difficult.

The theme:Books genres!

Here are the asks:

Literary Fiction🍷:Tell me one(1) thing abt the book ur currently reading and i'll tell you one(1) thing abt mine

Mystery🔍:Ask me anything abt myself!(NOTE:I am a minor and therefore will not hesitate to delete and block you if u step over the line)

Thriller😰:Cym,fmk,would you rather etc

Horror😱:Try and guess smth abt me!

Historical📜:Send mw a random picture and i'll give you a random historical figure

Romance💌:Give me a lil bit abt u and i'll ship u with a character(plese specify gender,preference etc and also ask for PJO/HP aas that is all i can do until i get my nav done)

Western🥾:Give me a character and i'll give you a cowboy hat

Bildungsroman👻:Describe a character and i'll give you a Disney movie that i think matches the vibes

Speculative Fiction🤔:Give me a food and i'll give you a food

Science Fiction(Sci-Fi)👽:Give me a ship amd i'll give you an alien

Fantasy🌌:Give my blog an aesthetic(doesnt have to be a mood board)and i'll give ur blog an aesthetic(Moots only!)

Dystopian😶:Go on anon amd pretend to be a character and i'll guess(if ur a moot or want to be a moot,pls give me ur url and an emoji u want to identify urself as)

Magical Realism👸:Tell me a bit abt your comfort character(include name and why they are ur comfort character!) and i'll give you a little song lyric/vice versa if thats what u want(Moots only!)

Realistic Literature😐:Give me a universe and i'll give you am OC + a lil description(yes i have OC's,i just dont talk abt them bc most are still in the process of being drawn)

Again,thank you all soo much! I truely aprpreciate it!!

Tagging moots:

@couldibeanymorechaotic @queen-asteria04 @thepaceperson @toomanynotifications @wolfstar-lb @andromedas-star @moony-likes-hot-choc @just-a-smol-spoon @mira-cant-spell @loonyloopylupin5 @chirons-tail-curlers @acciorxses @fangirl2o20

@supersharkgentlemen

[artreider]

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

[thirdhandidiot]

HELLO LGBTs

DONT YOU THINK ITS TIME FOR A REVOLUTION?

NONE OF THE OBEY ME CHARACTERS ARE CIS BECAUSE I SAID SO, ITS TIME WE START PROJECTING ONTO THEM

•i want to see non binary Satan who couldn’t understand why talking to people was making them angry and started lashing out for seemingly no reason, having to go to Lucifer in a fit of angry tears, desperate for help because it hurts so much, why does it hurt?

•I want to see Beel, who passed so easily, worried his twin would grow to despise him because he never had the same ease transitioning socially, getting called the girly one of the two, always being smaller, weaker next to Beel, and Beel hates it so much, he feels guilty

•I want to see Miku Binder Levi projecting onto fictional characters to avoid thinking about his own problems, wearing baggy clothes and locking himself away, jealous of the other brothers, scared of rejection

•I want gender fluid Asmo, proud of their ability to seemlessly shift between presentations, calling mammon in tears, begging him to come pick her up from this guys house because he’s yelling slurs at asmo, who is sobbing please don’t call me that and they won’t stop

•I want to see the great mammon, who is so confident one day, but the next can’t stand the sight of his body, especially when he shifts and you can see his scars, barley hidden by his jacket, who always feels like his screams are just a little bit too high pitched

•Lucifer, so proud, hurt by memories of before, presenting hyper masc at times, afraid to show any emotions because even though he knows it’s not true, he can’t help but think people will see his as more feminine, and he can’t do that, not again

•I want Belphie, who pretends it doesn’t bother them. ‘Why should I care what some lesser demon thinks of me?’ but is kept awake at night, when everyone else is asleep, no one to help as they spiral in insecurities, their voice echoing in their head, the cruel words twisting, stabbing–

•Lord diavolo, whose parents had been so relieved because ‘that means you can be king– we were so disappointed when you were born female’ and it never sat right with him, even though he’d been lucky enough to transition young

•Maybe even Luke, who only Simeon knows is trans, getting upset when he’s called chihuahua because my voice isn’t that high, is it? But determined to stay closeted and so never being able to tell them why they should stop, and he’s not that small, he’s an average height for boys his age he’s checked, so many times

–But I also want to see sleepovers between the brothers (they agreed it was simpler to keep calling themselves that and that it was better than letting Mammon or Levi pick a new name) where they, just for one night, put aside the bickering and tormenting eachother just to make sure the others are ok, because they all know that they’re struggling in their own ways, and for one night they all sleep in the living room, eating food, watching comfort movies and following whatever self care routine it is that asmo is on currently, everyone gets a face mask, no you can’t opt out lucifer, you’re working too hard again, you’ll get wrinkles and that just won’t do, let us take care of you– and Levi! When was the last time you washed your hair?! That won’t do, come with me, let me do it for you I have these amazing bath salts I just know you’ll love

–I want Diavolo, helping them all transition as quickly and as secretively as possible after he finds out. He wants to be there for them, ever since that night lucifer came out to him, sobbing, pride forgotten because he doesn’t want to be that person anymore. He can’t, he spent too long living that lie for his father, he just wants to be free. Simeon telling him he’s changed and being so proud of him, you look so much more relaxed. Diavolo being so happy to know that lucifer is happier because he struggles to talk about it because Lucifer still believes he‘s wrong or broken in someway, pride too much to overcome, but when it’s just him and diavolo, sometimes he can talk about it, lift a weight off his chest

–I want to see them big eachother up in the way that only siblings can, oi that jacket looks good on ya, can I steal it? I’m gonna get junk food because I deserve it, what do you want? I want them to support eachother on bad days, just silently making them tea when they’ve started into space just a little too long, ruffling their hair on the way out. I want a deal between them to let the others know if something is showing in public, whilst in the house being comfortable enough and trusting eachother enough not to judge because really, they’re all in the same boat here

I can’t be the only one here guys. C’mon. Let make this happen. Tag me. ANYTHING YOU POST I want to see it, I want to see your vent art, I want to hurt with you as you project your troubles, just so that your not alone. @7fckingidiots made a Post Abt the Brothers amd it was my final snapping point, Ive got so many little sketches of Satan, they’ve become my muse for any practice drawings, amd I wanted to say something before but yea, check out their post guys I’ll try Link it. But I mean it, tag me, I want to reblog everything you do, make our own supportive family

[war-torn-and-collateral-damage]

Okay so a bit of an update on things, a bit of me calling out a couple asshole anons.

1. The Anons. I have recieved quite a few messages that I never feel deserve the recognition of posting essentially accusing me of making things up for attention, so included in this post is a screenshot of the notes from my most recent doctors visit, specifically the part of the note where the "active problem list" is. This is the list of all of my current diagnosis that we are working on treating, managing or learning to live with. I do not feel I should have even needed to provide this but here it is. If anyome had any questions on that feel free to ask but please don't be an ass, my life is hard enough as is.

Next is Updates,

Uhmm so I have a few things to touch on here.

1. After much discussion with my doctors, my specialists etc. My fears have been confirmed, due to the medical problems I have on top of the cognitive defecits plus the neuropathy eventually, we don't know when, there is no specific time frame, eventually I will go downhill and not come out of it. Pretty much right now I have good days and bad days about half and half but the bad days will start to be more frequent and more severe and then the good days just wont happen anymore.

2.We also talked at length about the bladder issues, I am self cathing multiple times a day still having incontinence, still bedwetting and still with no sensory awareness (This means I cant tell when I have gone) we talked about options and he said we arent there yet but a suprapubic catheter is inevitable and I will be needing one placed down the line. This is a catheter that will be placed in my bladder through my belly opposed to my urethra, meaning I can still be sexually active, Id be at a lower risk for infection, it is a more comfortable option and would mean that I would no lo get be dependent on briefs or dependent on an aid changing my briefs on my bad days. Insurance wants to give pelvic floor therapy a go one more time before they approve the procedure amd my doctor has informed me that once its in goong back to "normal urination" will not be a feesible option meaning once its places it will be permanent and I will be peeing through the tube for the rest of my life.

3. In Occupational therapy last week I was tested for primitive reflexes, primitive reflexes are a reflex developped ineutero that should go away or "integrate" at various stages in the first few years of life. These reflexes should be present in infants but NOT in "neurologically intact adults" 4 of 9 of these reflexes are still present for me, which means that that part of my brain did not develop adequately but this part of the brain is a foundation so when that didnt develop appropriately nothing else did either. Now they could integrate these reflexes which is the goal which will help reduce the physical reflexive response to stimuli BUT the under development to the rest of the brain already happened and can not be corrected. Included is a chart about the reflexes and the signs and consequences that happen in the event that the reflex was retained and not integrated. My Primitive reflexes still present are the Tonic Labrynthe, Moro, Spinal Galant and Palmar Grasp. Apparently retaining these reflexes is not abnormal in people with Autism.

All of this said, I have alot going on, I have a lot of things I am trying to figure out and trying to work on and fix and tons of appointments and follow ups and procedures and I could use some help, I really could. I have a amazon wishlist that essentially consists of cloth and disposable briefs primarily, uhmm we are grying to switch me over to cloth briefs as they are easier on the skin and will be more cost effective in the long term they also feel more natural I feel like but also disposable ones are on the list as they will be necessary to help hold us over till we can get more cloth briefs. Also on the list is some workout clothes items as my doctor and I are trying to increase my daily activity, I have been walking and am getting a YMCA membershio from my insurance next month and I dont have anything to work out in so any help would be great. Thanks in advance.

You can find my wishlist here (: